16-03-2012

early morning woke up by mum...asking me tonight need to save some dinner for us or not
yes..today i will back home
about to close my eyes to continue my dream...phone alert...ok...wake up then..
online..packing all my stuff prepare to go home
my sibling reach my place about 12.45 pm..we went for lunch and she leave me at her place while continue working..
i was alone there..but i feel comfortable to be alone...take a nap...till they come back ...and we headed to hometown...
on the way...i slept again...and woke up few times by emergency break...oh...my bro fly his car again...there was several time i tot that i will killed in accident...=.=
and soon...my heart...get pain again....maybe too many emergency break make my heart keep have sudden increase heartbeat...

they was several night i insomnia although i am tired...i was scare that tml i wont wake up...i mean forever..
but soon...i found a way to let me sleep well...
by placing my hand on my heart...feel the heatbeat...yes..it is pumping like an miracle....without engine...it just pumping....

'ur heartbeat always have pulse'

i will remember that...

everytime it felt pain...i will scare...when it gonna stop beating...today?tmr?or...next minutes...


recently working is quite tiring..
see people around me throwing ball to each other..
i do a loan spend me 2 hours plus plus...
scan sku cant get
call IT
get signature
go security
call security
send email
get reject
call duty manager
go cashier
get scold by buyer
call manager
call IT
go again checkpoint...

at the end an IT settle it with a single call..
what the....
then what for i need duty manager and manager?
i just need an IT,although he like to tease me and bully me
but worth it!! better than i wasting time on see each other throw ball..
i really tired with that...

nvm..i get back to work...then my manager come back..scolding here and there because of one of his pen gone
what the....
just a pen!!!i pity that staff...he need the pen to do his work
but get scold..
but...where is those pen go!i dont understand...
like i always said..there really haunted...pens always gone like that
but didn't scold me..just ask me ok o not..
then give me few works to do
ask me call this person at this minutes and next minutes throw another few stuff which i need to do now...
i just replied him 'can u let me finish this first??can o not?'
continue with my work..
set my schedule and back at 6
i just can stand for another 1 hours
it's so tiring
get in bus...fall asleep
reach home at 19.45..=.=
any different with i back at 19.00?
i just realise that i jam in bus about an hour...
what a tiring day...

09-03-2012

Is kind of nervous when others mum talking u..although u know she is very nice person..but u still will scare..

Is fun to plan future with no reality..all u think will be nice and happy..some reality is cruel..

Today I woke up by phone at 7 smth 10 smth..then I stay up till 1pm..then sleep till 6 smth..
I dream a lot of stuff..cause I keep woke up by sound...so noisy ...so my dream is kind of weird and suffer..

06-03-2012

Wake up at 10 smth..feeling better..
So I follow the plan...went for a movie and teppanyaki ..

Don't know y..just felt a lot of pervert today..=.=

Watched the act of the voral
I can't said very interesting but I can't said it is boring
Is talk about what soldier feel...is kind of sad..movie is based of real brave heart of the soldier..
I like one of the quote in that movie..smth like ur family cant understand why u have to do these but let them understand u did it for them...
Waiting ur love one who in mission..very sad..every mission can make them killed..what h have to do is wait for the call that tell u ur husband is dead..

I was decided smth yesterday night ...smth rational ..I make up my mind..but everything break when I saw 3 huge eggs at midvalley..at that moment Smth ran into my mind...and I know...this time I really holly shit dy...

I can see fear n sad on his face...
But I prefer his smiling face..
It can brighten ur moody day..
I knew after months later when I read back this blog I will said..u such an insane and this totally disgusting..
But at this moment ..........^^

My Facebook is so insecure now..cause his mum added me..I was so 'sweat'..cause I realize my status and everything is....holly cow...and his mum like my status..I really faint ..although just a normal status but I nearly heartattack..by the way..she is a good Aunty ^^

After I came back from movie ..I felt that my body is getting hot..the fever came back again.and the worst part is.....the allergic is pain and itchy..I want to take pill...but..I try not to..
Hope that I can sleep well tonight ..

05-03-2012

the fever is killing me...feel like want to puke.......

i felt contempt
i dont know why this can happened
i knew it very long dy..
but when she told me...i still feel sad,contempt,disgust
and i dont know why i will tell him these and cry infront...
so...embarrassing....and insane..
but felt better...
maybe gonna period...so emotional..

study one more page before i sleep then....really feel like want to puke
since go motivation...go go go.....even say go go go also no energy,,=.=

04-03-2012

Watch a lots if movies recently..
And I found that Thai movies quite nice..better than hong kong movies if compare in love story..action part I havent see yet

Watch a long long movie today..brave heart
Although at the end the actor still die..but..when he scream freedom!!!it's really touch my heart...

Plan to go home for weekends..but don't know Thursday or Friday better...just think about it..want to catch on a movie before that I think ..act of varol..seem like a nice movie ..and my friend said he almost cry ..so I want try..the problem is when should I go..

Need to take care myself for blood donation..see whether I can make it at weekend it not

I started to like weekend..
Life seem like much more easier..a simple word a simple move..can make me smile..

He told me smth yesterday ..about I am no 4
He asked me to watch it a week ago..cause I forget what's the movie about..I seldom forget movies stuff..I used to remember well in movie detail.
He said what the answer I need is at the movie..so he want me to watch it by myself
But yesterday he said he can't wait ...i don't know what happen..cause we talk as usual..bout my relationship..and he just keep quiet and type very long without words..and then he talk about the movie ...I heard him..he speak well actually..I seldom heard he speak English ..but it's just happened...sound nice ..although is apologize..but y he need to say sorry ..I don't get him..we end up with embarrassing ..I don't really know what happen..although he dark..but I can see his face is red..

I can speak..but not more than 5 words each sentence...kinda of sad..

Have to work tomorrow..
What should I eat for lunch ~~~

25-02-2012

紧张
压抑
嘴角上扬
下一秒一边呐喊一边在实验室里跑。。
Chotomateh！
别打我看不懂的语言啊！
突然觉得自己真的少了那份活力。
就算演
他也赢得我的笑容。
毕竟早上五点喊道把爸妈吵醒需要多大的勇气。

该醒了

那就是该躲的时候了。

今天一个人回家
少了忐忑不安
却多了点迷茫
发呆发呆下就到了
我几度以为自己拉链没拉还是穿了睡衣出门。那两个人就是一直一直看着我。用怒瞪也没效。不是我以为你要奸我。只是你们的眼神很色。
戴上耳机重复着同一首歌两小时。也睡了两小时多。
早上看见曙光才睡的感觉不好
但突然觉得读书真好
一整天昏睡状况
毕竟才睡三个小时

发生点小意外
被车撞了一下
也因为这一撞
让我很内疚
也许。。我以后真的一个人回来就好
就一个人的。。。一个人

小侄女生日。很多东西吃。我却只吃一点。突然发现。我好像有腰了

21-02-2012

jabby恢复健康了
但是我的皮包大量出血
今天练了大概一到两个小时
还是一样杀鸡声
等我室友回来我就不能拉了
所以现在要尽量大拉特拉的
进展到jingle bell 和自己揣摩的happy birthday

jake的生日快到了
我的信看来是不会到了
遗失在世界的某个角落了吧
我发现最近不能和他说到话
因为我一定会梦到他
已经好几次了
最近好像挺忙的
没什么聊到天
希望一切安好的吧～

因为上个星期的特忙
造成了这个星期的特空闲
是闷到出汁
好想跟他们聊天啊！！！
Impulse 你几时才上网啊！！最多我不说你gay就是了！！
好想念你的鸡蛋脸啊！！
想到我在他的wall留言和comment每个都被他妈妈like我就觉得可怕
我写的是code不知道她会读吗。。会读的话我真的可以去撞墙了
很糗好不好！！

话说我做工的地方有个混血儿
他们之前硬拉我去看
我起初觉得可能就印度混华人没什么可看度
可是他们说不是不是，说到很夸张
就被半推半拉的去看
我是觉得还不错啦
因为他有jake的眼睛
没有到他们所说的惊天地泣鬼神的程度啦
就外国人混华人咯

恶梦能让你有好心情，因为那不是真的
美梦能让你有坏心情，因为..那也不是真的....